Give Your Sex Life A Boost With Roleplay
Itching to bring ‘sexy’ back into your sex life? While there are umpteen ways to do so, roleplay lets you act out your kinkiest fantasies, and thus, is a hot favorite. According to a survey on Indian millennials by a video content brand, 54 percent of female respondents expressed their interest in roleplay.
The act enables you to be ‘someone else’ while having sex and offers you the freedom of exploring your sexuality completely. “Roleplay can enhance fun and playfulness between the sheets. It also breaks the monotony in the bedroom,” says sexual health doctor Dr. Rajendra Sathe, Pune.
Hairstylist Sunaina Sharma*, 26, Noida, agrees. She states that roleplaying has given her sex life the necessary boost, and she looks forward to trying various roles with her partner. We bring you a few ways in which you can spice things up.
Figure fantasies
Before you dive into the world of roleplay, figure out exactly what you want and the boundaries you are comfortable with. Ask yourself what your goal is, and how far you want to take it. Are you okay with only channeling your inner actress or do you want to go the whole nine yards with costumes, props, et al? Discover which ‘character’ you want to play. “Certain characters add a whole new dimension to one’s personality. For example, if in reality, the man is the dominating one in the relationship, during roleplay the woman could control the action.
This could lead to a change in the sexual dynamics between the couple. If the woman can pull off a dominating role in bed, there is a possibility that she has that streak in reality as well. This gives the two a deeper understanding of each other. In this day and age, most couples deal with ample insecurities. Roleplaying can help drive them out,” says counselor and psychotherapist Parul Khona, Pune.
Determine limits
Although you’re open to experimenting with different roles, it’s possible that certain situations are a strict no-no. “If either partner feels uncomfortable in any scenario, no matter what it is, it means STOP. Have a detailed discussion with each other. It can go a long way in preventing complications,” says Dr. Sathe.
In case, either party is hesitant to discuss, it is advised that both go with the flow, and then decide where to draw the line. “Limits can be specified at any moment since thought processes and consent can change during the course of the sexual encounter,” opines Khona.
Trisha Kapoor*, a 35-year-old IT professional from Bangalore, shares, “When my husband and I first started roleplaying, I was apprehensive because I had heard from a friend how terribly wrong it had gone for her. She’d taken part in a ‘boss-and-secretary’ scenario with her boyfriend, and was stunned when he entered her from behind without consent. Later, he claimed that he got ‘mixed signals’ from her. Thus, I made sure that my husband and I took it slow, discussed what we wanted and what was off-limits, and, I must admit, we had a great time.”
No judgment, please!
It’s expected that your partner and you may have a few fantasies that are ‘unusual.’ For instance, you could get turned on by gender-bender roles or want to have wild sex dressed as your favorite cartoon characters; workplace subterfuge where you go down on each other at faux workplace situations could also be part of your list.
If you have a good understanding of your partner, there is no reason why you should not give in to your kinks. Judgment has no role in the bedroom, so never shame your partner for his fantasies.
“I’ve always fantasized about having sex with a stranger. You know, getting down and dirty with a cute pizza delivery guy, who I surprise at the door in sexy lingerie. When I told my husband about what I had in mind, he readily agreed. It was one of the steamiest sessions ever!” Kapoor recalls.
Set the scene
Now that all of the above is in place, it is time to enact that fantasy. “I always wondered how it would be to meet a stranger in a club and end up having wild sex with him,” says a 32-year-old marketing professional from Mumbai, Sia Oberoi*, “My partner suggested that we should play out the fantasy. We met at a local bar the next day, and ended up spending a passion-filled night later.”
If you have a specific idea—say being a dominatrix or a nurse—you could plan a date in advance, and get the costumes and props ready. After all, setting the mood is important, and you need to make sure that the roleplay is realistic. If you’re not able to get into character at home, head out and book a hotel room or another house for a night. Push the boundaries.
Get into the role
Here are some roleplay ideas that you can begin with before diving into it the ones you fantasize about.
Painter and muse: Who hasn’t seen Titanic’s iconic scene with Jack, Rose, the painting, and the steamy sex that follows? All you need is paper, a pen, a sensual neckpiece, and you’re set.
Teacher and student: There is something erotic about a person telling you about the different ways he or she can turn you on—and beyond. And what good is a teacher who doesn’t show the practical side of theory?
Personal chef: Why not be a personal chef—or let him be one—who wears an apron and a chef’s hat, and nothing else? Prepare (or order) some decadent dishes prior and serve them up. The dessert can be served between the sheets!
Sleeping beauty: While the story had the prince ‘waking’ her up with just a kiss, this story can go beyond—how about the ‘prince charming’ going all out to wake up this princess, right?
Master and slave: While the scenario has you doing all sorts of things to appease your master, there are chances that your master might just want to ‘reward’ you for being so obedient. Think whips, restraints, and the whole shebang. Yowza!